No stop there please, take a moment to rationalize! I know it’s difficult not to feel devalued you might actually suddenly start hating to look in the mirror but trust me it’s not you.
If I’m in a relationship and I get attracted to someone else, yes there is something lacking but not in my partner it’s in our relationship the ‘’we together’’ or in myself I’m looking for a better me.
When there is an affair it’s not because you want to leave your partner it’s because you want to leave the person you are in this relationship it’s not that you want to have better sex or better looking or a smarter partner no you mostly want to meet another you.
I want to be in a relationship where I can be the leader, where I can be heard, where I can be wanted all the time and many more………. Yes, you are looking maybe for a role change within a relationship! This requires some work to find out as this role is not yet present even to you.
Not all relationships are made to work and not every love story develops into a life story, some stories need to stop for good reasons and some deserve the battle to continue also for good reasons.
What is a successful relationship to you? Don’t look up the internet or compare to your circle or listen to the wisdom of other couples what worked here will not work there.
If your self-esteem depends on the actions of others then you will be at mercy of things out of your control, be kind to yourself.
What are the good reasons for this relationship to continue?
What are the good reasons for it to end despite the pain?
How important is it for both of us to resolve this?
Who am I and who am I not in this relationship?
Are we both ready to try and watch this relationship from an airplane view to see all angles? Do we really want to try? Is it healthy for us and for our families and children?
Are we willing to park the blame aside for a bit? BTW this is not easy but some relationships are worth it.
Stephen covey taught us to start with the end in mind to reach where we need
‘’ who knows what’s good and what’s bad’’ trust yourself and trust god and universe that this also shall pass in a way or another.